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Motivation In Your Life

A closer look at how motivation works in your life

When it comes to getting motivated to take action and get things done in your life, this is where getting a life coach can be highly beneficial because they are trained to understand how your psyche works and what keeps it from performing at a high level. For you to be able to succeed in your life, you are going to need to have the right mindset and the ability to become self motivated toward achieving your goals.

I recently asked some of my clients about how motivation effects them in their life and here is what they shared with me:

Motivation comes with joy. It's better to ask why people are so much depressed. What happened to them in their childhood, education? We can grieve this with a proper therapy and get the joy back.

The problem is, the school system actually destroys this part of the mind for many people. We're taught for years on end, to stop, think, analyze, ruminate and learning the wrong things. But it turns out we have intuition and gut impulses that can allow us to be spontaneous and confident in what we do... and not always see our failures in the form of an F or 40%. We're taught to work our butts off, then take long breaks. We're taught to follow a routine and do things that don't interest us for hours and hours to make some number. So when it's all done and we're in the real world, many of us simply don't know HOW to go about even framing our mind for this way of thinking. You're lucky if you had great parents, teachers or friends that fostered this part of you, and to people like this, it's easy. It's as simple as just doing it, and they don't understand why people procrastinate or have analysis paralysis. This is why so many people lack discipline in life.

I used to be a very creative and spontaneous child, and by the end of high school I was just another robot. It has taken me years to even realize what happened to me, and now I'm a few years deep into trying to find my natural human side again after I lost it as a teenager.

I know she has a small amount of time to get across a big topic, but for talks like this to be really effective IMO, they have to share a type of detox method with tangible things to do. Mindfulness meditation is so crucial for many of us. You can't be happy or operate in the "now" if you're constantly future tripping or thinking about your past. Again, the school system gears you to think of the future. Graduation will save you. Post-secondary will save you. Work will save you. Making tons of money will save you. Finding love will save you. Learn to live in the present, and learn to calm your mind so that the natural river of thought can flow without obstructions caused by everyday mundane tasks or negative thoughts. That's how you'll find out what you really want, and what to do to get it. Social media and pornography are killers. Bad diets, lack of exercise, and lack of PLAY are killers. Many people don't even realize how important it is to to PLAY. Play catch, play at a gym, play with friends. When we think of the road to accomplish something major, we think that ALL that time we'll have to be working and it's daunting. Because that's what it was like in school. But in reality, if you learn to work a bit, then play a bit, you can continue on the road to your goals with a freer mind and get more done.

Anyway, I don't have all the answers, and I'm in the struggle myself. But I just thought I'd share with everyone some of the things I've come to learn. I see a lot of comments saying that it's easier said than done. And really, I agree. Very few speakers are tackling the tangible everyday things that are plaguing the mind needed to even be receptive to these types of speeches.

Spent the greater part of the past decade coaching/consulting before retiring in my late 20s. Engaging and interacting with thousands of folks on that level teaches you a lot. No sugar coating or easing the blow: People lack self control.

Self control is what restricts and constrains you from figuratively shooting yourself in your foot. It's the only true barrier between getting what you (usually happiness/fulfillment of some sort) and the mindless dribble of life people force themselves through.

But here are the three things that I think make you should consider:

1) self-confidence,
2) fluency and analogy, and most importantly,
3) abstract rhetoric--this is the intangible or non-concrete issues that she discussed.

The importance of her abstract ideas is not about what she says. It's about how you (the listeners), using the gift of imagination, broadly situate your problem(s) in your own world. Every listener is thinking about his/her own problems (for example, a listener might be thinking about financial issues, another is thinking about getting a job, or doing business, or obesity, quitting alcohol or smoking, finishing school, etc.); this is a good thing although there is no workable and concrete solutions, except the 5 seconds!

Other major concerns, I think, are in her implicit assumptions about (ALL) individuals who are lazy and always need help without any consideration to their social, cognitive, and economic differences. Even more troubling is blaming the individuals (who might simply be the victims) of their problems.

To many, her speech is worthy. I agree. But that "MANY" (of people who found her speech inspirational) is just what it is; it's just many, not all. Do you think I'm going too far if I said that many or some listeners might be harmed or disempowered after they got temporally empowered? Is it possible that some might get more frustrated than they were once after realizing his/her actual reality/life/abilities/limits?

We must beware the peril of overgeneralizing our assumptions or beliefs from personal experiences. We could be prone to err more often than we think.

I must say, so many people find their needs in her motivational speech. Plus, she is smart; she knows what the mass needs and how to tackle on their needs. This is a rare trait in everyday life but common elsewhere.

Is anyone surprised to learn that one needs willpower to accomplish anything? Surely not most children in Confucian Heritage Countries, who have internalized this before they reach middle school. As for minds brimming over with novel, innovative ideas -- that may sell books, but the reality is that few of us have anything terribly unorthodox or innovative to contribute. That goes for Mel, whose hyper individualistic, wants-driven motivational spiel works in America but not in, say, many conservative regions of the non-Western world.

Mel also takes too much for granted. Is what we want necessarily worth pursuing? A less conventional approach would have raised fundamental questions: what do people want, why do they want it, what determines how much energy to expend on it, what other people (especially family for whom we are responsible) must be considered as we make such plans, and how does our understanding of wants, needs and PURPOSE vary from one society to the next?